22nd April 2004

A Tribute to a wonderful Human Being

Where do I start? I have been trying not to even write this. Never thought I would. A very close friend of our family passed away. Her warning to me (10 days ago) is still ringing in my ears: "Don't call me aunty". I used to call her aunty teasingly ever since I first saw her in 1995 when she was shooting for 'Pedharayudhu'. She was soft-spoken and timid. But definitely knows to put people where they belong. Never had I once heard her raise her voice. Always there for you! She was a person you would find hard to believe she was true. My father loved her so much and even now, he is yet to come in terms with the reality that she is no more.

I was in the editing lab, trying to do some kind of new editing shots for dad's new movie 'Shiva Shankar'. It was around noon and I just finished looking at the song picturised on dad and her. I then asked the Asst. Editor to put on a scene where she is hurt in the movie, when my phone rang. I cut the call and immediately another call and again I cut, and again the third time it rang. I picked it up and the words I still recollect: "Vishnu, Soundarya died … she died in a plane crash." I couldn't believe it. I just got up and I felt the room spinning. I sat down and looked at the screen where Soundarya was smiling. I started shivering. I rang up my friend Ashok who looks after my dad's production and he was already trying to get hold of me. I told him to switch off dad's mobile and asked him not to disclose the news to anyone. How I drove to dad's shooting, I still don't know. When I went, he was in a shot and I waited at the end. I could not feel anything beside me. My director for the next movie Ravi Babu came up next to me and looked with tears in his eyes and I too couldn't hide mine. He went aside and looked far away. I heard the "cut, shot ok" from the director and I went to dad who was sitting down. I wiped my tears away, went to him, and sat next to him. He took one look at me and knew something was wrong. I looked at him and with a straight face told him "Daddy, there was a plane crash near Bangalore and Soundarya aunty was in it." He looked at me blankly waiting for the next sentence in horror: "She died." I buried myself in my hands, wept uncontrollably not bothering about the more than 200 people around me. I could not hear dad speak or anything. Dad looked quite, and then he stood up and looked at the unit that was already into tears, and he said, "Pack up for the day". I came back home leaving him in the shooting spot. He refused to talk to anyone and kept quite. Ashok rang me up and told me to get ready for the 5 o' clock flight and I told him I cannot go. I just couldn't go.

I didn't have the guts to go and look at Raghu uncle's face. I met him along with Soundarya aunty at our shooting hardly 10 days ago. They looked as a pair made for each other. A pair matched in Heaven. Again, I just couldn't imagine facing her mom. I came back home and remained silent. Dad left in the evening to Bangalore and I just lied down in the bed. All of a sudden, I seemed to lose all hope on life. She was supposed to come and shoot the next day morning. Now she was gone forever. Just like that. I wondered what the hell life is about. I couldn't just believe it. She was such a wonderful person. I could not console my mom who broke down after hearing the news. Now when I just opened the shooting album to pick up select photos for designing, the first photo I saw was one with her rare smile. I closed down the album and couldn't push myself to open it. She was one of the most wonderful human beings I had ever known. All these years in the film industry, I never heard one person speak anything against her. All loved her and she will continue to be loved forever. I know she is up above us on the premises of God's world looking down as I am typing this letter. I just want to tell her. We all love you and Amar anna a lot. We all miss you. Bye Aunty.

- Vishnu

Also read Vishnu's letter to fans