Ram Gopal Varma Blog about The last time I was scared

Ram Gopal Varma Blogs
The last time I was scared

ram gopal Varma

10 April 2009

It was 3’O’clock in the night. I just returned from a late night shoot of “Bhoot” to my apartment on the 8th floor. As I got into the bed and was trying to sleep I suddenly had a feeling that Manjeet the ghost in “Bhoot” was behind the cupboard near the wall. I felt my hair rise and I almost immediately laughed out loud at my own imagination. Manjeet’s laugh came out from behind the wall mixed with my own laughter. Startled, I looked at the wall. There was complete silence. I reminded myself that Manjeet was created from my own imagination and now my own imagination is trying to play tricks and scare the hell out of me with my own creation. I smiled to myself at the ridiculousness of it. My mind said that I go and check behind the cupboard and my sensibility said ‘No’. After a severe conflict between the two, I completely resisted the temptation to go and check. However after staring at the cupboard for a while in a low voice I called out Manjeet’s name. In reply there was a dead silence from behind the cupboard.

I felt a sudden anger at myself for the way I was behaving. My mind again insisted that I go and check behind the cupboard and my sensibility said that if I do that I will be a big hypocrite for claiming all the time that I don’t believe in ghosts. Finally with a determination I turned to my side away from the cupboard and closed my eyes. Soon enough I heard foot steps slowly approaching me from behind. I hated my mind and wanted to beat it for again going back to its old tricks. As I was arguing with my mind I could feel someone getting onto the bed. I started rapidly analyzing my mind on why it is doing that and why it is imagining such stupid stuff. And then I could feel the sound of someone’s breath approaching near me and as I almost felt it on my neck I whirled around. There was nothing and no one in the room. As I looked around every object in the room from the TV to the books to the painting on the wall looked back at me as if they have a life of their own and they all seemed to be conspiring along with Manjeet’s ghost behind the cupboard.

I kept looking around with fear not knowing what to do and how to deal with my mind which was obviously having a ball of a time scaring me and then I thought of a great idea. I picked up my cell phone and called up the actress who was playing Manjeet. She replied saying, “Hi Ramuji”, a little surprised that I was calling her up so late in the night. I made up some production related story and had a conversation with her for a while. Going on hearing her normal voice and having a normal conversation with her for some time, finally drove the fear from my mind. By the time I hung up I completely came to a normal state. I went back to sleep gloating over how I finally defeated my mind with my sensibility.

Note: Thanks to Ram Gopal Varma for giving us special permission to republish his blogs in idlebrain.com (visit rgvzoomin.com to visit Ram Gopal Varma's blog)

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